Xmas Wars 2008.

This year I've joined the fray. I'm an enthusiastic, nay joyful, combatant in the Christmas wars. Loath to pick sides, however, I'm agin ever'body!

If you say, "Happy Holidays" or "Seasons Greetings," I say "Merry Christmas, you %^*$ing heathen."

If you're, "Merry Christmas," I'm, "It's Happy Advent, lame brain! Xmas doesn't start til the 25th."

If You: "Happy Advent!"
Me: "Advent's not supposed to be happy, you hedonist! It's supposed to be a time of waking watchfulness."

(Nobody ever says, "Waking Watchful Advent," so no worries there).

Then of course, if you say, "Happy Hanukkah," mine'll be, "its {Considerable phlegm}appy {More phlegm}anukkah, insensitive clod."

If you do: "{Considerable phlegm}appy {More phlegm}anukkah"
cricket is: "Merry Christmas, %^*$ing Christ killer".

And finally if you say, "Happy Kwanzaa," I bust a cap in your @$$ (I think is the expression).

Today the front is quiet. So, God bless you all.