Monday, November 13, 2006

Terri Schiavo

I like to start a new blog every coupla months. Today, I repost an important entry from an earlier blog.

Re: Terri Schiavo.
My greatest fear is to end up like Terri.
And so, my living will:

I (insert your--I mean my--name), declare that:

1) should my greatest pleasure in life--namely, to lie or semi-recline in bed and stare out into space in an unconscious or semi-conscious and preferably drugged state--ever be denied me, and

2) should I be unable, through misadventure or dis-ease, to communicate my wishes to my life-insurance beneficiaries and underpaid Canadian doctors impatiently waiting for my hospital bed in an impoverished fourth rate hospital, whose only consolation for West African levels of healthcare is that it's a d---d sight better than the Americans' system,

I direct that I be slowly tortured to death by methods including, but not limited to starvation and dehydration resulting in the gradual painful failure of my organs one at a time.

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I'd be a blackguard and a cad, if I weren't so ineffectual. The less said "About Me", the better.